In the pursuit of achieving something difficult, the first step towards success is having a deep-seated reason why we seek to achieve this object, goal, or target. Our “why” is the factor that motivates us to continue steadfast on the path to success no matter how many obstacles we may encounter along the way that detract us from our primary goal.

I read a rather apt example from Rich Woman which I will reiterate in my own words here:

Most of us often talk about wanting to go to the gym because we want to get fit or lose weight, but how many of us actually stick to that plan and achieve our end target? Most of the time we make up excuses, like, “I’m too busy,” or, “I’m too tired.” We convince ourselves that we have legitimate reasons why we shouldn’t get started.

Now imagine if the doctor told us that if we didn’t start exercising at the gym at least three times a week, we’d die from some medical condition that we had developed, would we start making the effort to go to the gym and making the time for it? Of course! Suddenly, we have a strong, motivating reason “why” we need to go to the gym.

I can recall an example from my own life which reflects the truth of this statement. I’d talk about wanting to go to the gym and working out to lose weight. I’d write up schedules and plans to make time for it, too, but when the time came, I’d flake out and come up with some reason why “today” was not a good day to start. The problem was that this dragged on and on and I never got started.

When I started rock climbing, I found it a sport I loved and I really wanted to excel in it. After a while, I realised that to get better, I would need to lose some weight. The harder grades required use to climb using holds so small that you could barely even get your fingers around it.

Obviously the mass of your body would affect how well you could climb because no matter how hard you train your fingers, one of the limiting factors would always be your body weight. That was the first time I was able to seriously lose weight without “flaking out”. My desire to climb well was so strong, it motivated me to work on losing the excess weight.

Now that I’ve decided that my next goal is to become financially free, what is my deep-seated reason for desiring this? I guess it’s not something I’ve really thought about very hard about until fairly recently.

How I came to my “Why?”

Before I met my husband, I used to lead a fairly Bohemian lifestyle. I lived for today and only bothered to plan for tomorrow when tomorrow became today. I never really thought much about my future or even how I would manage if “shit hit the fan”. All I knew was that I was okay today and that was good enough for me.

In the first real conversation I ever had with my husband (we had known each other for a year but never really talked until one fateful night when we were thrown together by accident) he had said that his life’s goal was to create a legacy for his progeny. Wow! If ever I heard any “heavy talk”, this was certainly it. I still remember thinking to myself how different we were – two people who were polar opposites living in completely different worlds.

It’s probably a wonder how I ever turned full 180 degrees and decided that I wanted to be financially independent. Well, it began in stages. At first I was lured by the attraction of being able to have the time to do anything I wanted, and buy anything I wanted and not have to worry about money. Kim Kiyosaki also writes in Rich Woman that if your “why” doesn’t motivate you to get through all obstacles to achieve your goal, then it isn’t your “why” and you need to dig deeper to find it.

I soon discovered that a simple idea of being able to have the time to do anything I wanted, and buy anything I wanted and not have to worry about money wasn’t a strong enough motivator for me. It became worse when I married my husband and he became the breadwinner of the family. It only made me relax even more because he was always so capable of handling everything. It became too easy for me to sit back and enjoy the ride.

I guess my first real wake up call happened when I was pregnant. After shopping for baby stuff, I realised just how expensive it was to have a baby. It dawned upon me that if anything were to happen to the hubby or his business, we’d be in real trouble because we were solely reliant on it now that I was not working. I felt I could no longer afford to sit back and leave everything in his hands.

Perhaps you could call it the maternal instinct kicking in, awakening me to the prospect that I may have to protect my child if “shit hit the fan”. When I was going solo, the only person who would suffer was me and I could deal with that. Now here is a little person in my life who is solely reliant on me to make his world a better place and I knew that whatever happened, I couldn’t let him down. Even though the hubby provides for us today, I knew that I had to have a back up plan, my plan B fail safe that would ensure my baby and I would be financially okay in case something were to happen to our breadwinner.

So I guess you could say it took my baby to awaken me to discover my real “why”…

Everybody has a different reason “why”. We just need to dig deep to find it. It is important to know what it is because it is the only thing that will keep you going when the obstacles are blocking your path and success appears dim.